Eyes
by RonanTadhg
Summary: I'm no good at summaries... kinda just a conversation fic. Dan/Tay


_(I'm not sure about this whole idea, but here goes nothing...)_

"An' his eyes... his eyes... his eyes are so..."

"Brown?"

"So..."

"Brown."

"No... So..."

"Brown!"

"No... You don't understand, they're like..."

"Round? Fluffy? Able to cure cancer? Please do tell me, I'm dying to know."

"You're so unsympathetic..." Tayend muttered, draining his glass.

"That's because they're brown, they're just brown, just like his damn hair that you just described for almost five minutes."

"It looks really shiny in the light."

Mayrie poured herself some more wine. "Honestly."

"You just... just don't understand..." Tayend slumped tipsily in his seat.

"Oh but I do."

"You don't. He's amazing."

"Okay."

"He is!"

"Didn't say he wasn't."

"He's got really cute... really cute ears."

"Ears?"

"Yeah."

"...You're dead to me."

"They are! They're kinda... pretty."

"I have no brother."

Tayend reached for the wine bottle and knocked his glass onto the floor. It broke with a sad smushing sound.

"Nice."

"Now what am I going to drink out of?"

"Your shoe."

"Well..."

"Don't actually do it, you plonker!"

"...sorry."

"I think you've had too much."

"I think _you've_ had too much."

"I don't."

"I do."

"Compelling argument."

"He's just so handsome..."

"Oh god we're back on this."

"And tall."

"Uh huh."

"And clever."

"Uh huh."

"And brave."

"Uh huh."

"And funny."

"Uh huh."

"And dashing."

"Uh huh."

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Well I've never met the man."

"I know, that's why I'm describing him for you."

"Well I get it."

"You can't."

"I do."

"You can't."

"Well, I do."

"But he's so... so nice and..."

"You're much too drunk, you'll only get silly and have to be put to bed."

"I am just exactly the perfectly fantastically right amount of drunk, thank you very much!"

Mayrie raised her eyebrows. "You might be a little bit further than the right amount."

"I have not! The thing is Mayend... I mean, Tayrie... the thing is... what's the point, he doesn't even know I exist!"

"He went travelling with you for several months, Tayend. I believe he's probably noticed you exist."

"But he doesn't_ know_."

"I'm sure he does, after all your adventures."

"Oh, the adventures! The excitement, the glamour, the history, the vomiting, the near death experiences... Did I tell you he saved my life?"

"Only a thousand times."

"He was so dashing and brave..."

"He never should have left you on your own in the first place."

"I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

"Clearly you can't."

"But _he_ took care of me, and he was so powerful and scary but handsome at the same time, and... and... and he found out about me and he didn't even..."

"Faint? Smack you? Throw up in horror?"

"'Xactly!"

"Your standards are getting lower. Time was, a guy would have to do something really impressive to catch your eye. Now, you seem happy with anyone who doesn't throw up on you."

"I almost threw up on him once..."

"And it just gets classier and classier."

"I was sea sick! You don't understand... You try going on a boat, then you come back here and laugh at me."

"But I laugh at you anyway."

"Hush and gimme some more wine."

"I really don't think I should."

"You should. When you're talking about men, you have to be very drunk..."

"Do you?"

"Yah."

"I'm not sure I agree."

"Well... you always get drunk when you talk about your husband."

"That's different."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Shut up."

"Shan't."

"You'd better, or else."

"Or else what?"

"I'll... tell Velend you want him to serenade you."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"...You would."

Mayrie smirked. "Glad you can see it my way. Now, are you really going to waste the next couple of years on this bloody magician?"

Tayend gave her a sulky glare, but said nothing.

"There are tonnes of men around who'd take you in a second, you know."

"Doesn't impress me."

"Okay, how about this... there are tonnes of men around who'd take you _slowly_?"

"Shut up."

"You're wasting your time on him."

"I'm not!"

"You are. And he's not good enough for you."

"I..."

"The guy took you to Lonmar. Either he's psychotically trying to get you killed or he's as thick as two short planks."

"He didn't realise I was a lad then, now he-"

"He didn't realise?"

"No, he-"

"He didn't _realise_?"

"No-"

"He didn't realise_ you_ were a lad?"

"No!"

"...Has he _met_ you?"

Tayend laughed. "Alright, stop it!"

"Sorry, but if you were any more obvious about it you'd have 'I like naked men' tattooed across your forehead."

"I have considered that."

"You should. Or perhaps a shirt with the words stitched into the front."

"Sexuality via embroidery."

"That would be your style."

"I could make a whole clothing range!"

"Even undergarments?"

"Especially undergarments."

"I'm sure Dem Agerralin would be very interested in your undergarments."

"...I'm going to be a grown up and pretend I didn't hear that."

"Mother would be so proud."

"Although!" Tayend sighed dramatically, drooping in his seat. "At least then someone would be interested in my undergarments."

"I've told you, lots of men-"

"But I don't _want_ them!" He stamped his foot.

"Oh, well, that'll help."

"What will?"

"Throwing a tantrum like a five year old. It's really becoming."

"Humph."

"You'll definitely attract him that way. Immaturity brings out your eyes."

"Oh, his eyes..."

"Here we bloody go again."


End file.
